There is NO right AGE to marry!
MARRIAGE AND AGE! – One of the ‘favorite’ yet the most ‘underrated’ topic of the Indian mentality and culture.
Relating age with marriage is an age-old practice of the Indian community. The boy’s age is not a serious matter, but when it comes to girls’ age, the issue takes a nasty turn. Whenever people opt for a girl or a boy for marriage, age is the first thing they inquire about. Only a few years back, ‘child marriage’ was a serious and prevalent issue in our society but, thanks to education, child marriage has seen a decline. Indian society confines girls to marry between a particular range of age. If they somehow miss that range, they are considered unqualified for marriage. Girls are bound by age; age is not just a number but a deadline for them.
If a girl marries in her early 20’s, it’s a win-win situation for her and her family; even if she is into a troublesome marriage, the winning streak is not over.
In India, the minimum legal age of marriage for boys is 21 and for girls is 18. As soon as the girl hits 18, her marriage becomes an important topic for the family, neighbors, friends, in short, for the whole community. As the years pass by, girls are pressured to marry and settle as soon as possible. In our society, with every passing year, time makes the girl less beautiful (almost ugly), unable to bear a child, close to losing her virtue, and difficult to settle in a family (because of her independent mentality). But the basic question still lingers ‘What is the right age of marriage? For girls!?’
Although, many kinds of research have shown that marrying a mature girl results in a successful marriage. A career-oriented girl, who is capable of balancing her marriage and career, is more considerate of the notion of marriage whenever she marries, as she has had a lot of experience in life.
‘BETI PARAYA DHAN HOTI HAI’
In the Indian Community, it is always said that ‘beti paraya dhan hoti hai.’ But nobody lets her reach her true value if given off in marriage at a tender age. Sometimes young girls are more intelligent than many mature girls whereas mature girls are more fresh and flexible than young ones.
Unfortunately, nobody pays attention to this statement of paraya dhan until the girl reaches 18 and people start pressuring her to marry. Girls are said to marry and go to their husband’s house, which is always destined to be their real house. The house they have lived throughout their lives suddenly becomes a house that does not belong to them; as a result, its status remains ‘only her mother’s house.’
‘DOLAY MAY JAA RAHI HO, ARTHEE PR HEE NIKALNA’
Another taboo that always haunts the married girl is ‘dolay may ja rahi ho, arthee pe hee nikalna.’ Imagine a young girl in her early 20’s is made to think about the end of her life even before she started her life. She leaves her parents’ house with fear and lots of uncertainty. Marriage is an act of gradually shouldering the responsibilities of varied kinds, and a girl must be well prepared before taking it on. Pushing her and tying any Tom Dick and Harry’s satchel is not advisable, especially nowadays when they are schooling so hard to maintain their identity.
People want a Young and Beautiful girl who can bring a large Dowry and also is Non-Opinionated
Sometimes, people expect huge dowries just because the girl is in her late 20’s. They reject older girls because they are way too opinionated for them to handle. Families want a girl for a progeny, so their family line doesn’t see a decline. One way or another, girls are paying the price for marrying late. These are greedy people who want a young and beautiful girl who is non-opinionated and can bring a large dowry.
It’s high time we break this stereotype mentality and let girls/women decide when they want to marry. Give time to the girl to understand and prepare herself for the new world she’s about to enter. Let career-oriented girls marry when they feel it is right for them to marry. Encourage young girls to primarily concentrate on their career and then opt for marriage, which makes them mature, experienced, independent, and a beautiful soul inside and out.
Stop associating Age with marriage, Marriage with dedication, Dedication with sacrifice, and Sacrifice with the Mutilation of emotions.
There is no right age to get married. You can marry at any age, I can marry at any age, anyone can marry at any age. Age is no criteria, and will never be. A successful marriage needs understanding, love, compassion, trust, respect, compatibility, and many more, but what it does not require is an ‘Age criteria.’ Age is no Bar!