Mehar in islam is a security deposit, a claim of authority and supervision, and a token of love and regard mandatory upon the groom by his bride as she exercises this right as proclaimed by Allah. In Islam, Mehar marks the financial independence of a woman. As the term is often associated with money and materialistic wealth, its expenditure and look after is completely in the woman’s sphere of influence.
The term “mehar” signifies a contract made by the groom and his family to his bride at the time of their nikkah. It incorporates a payment to be made by the groom as chartered by the bride. Generally, it is advised that the future husbands be as generous as possible when it comes to paying the Mehar. At the same time, it must be known that the contract is an agreement between the future couple only so any type of interference with regard to its declaration by the families that may lead to unnecessary pressures and hindrance for an otherwise blessed marriage should be avoided at all costs. The fact that Mehar is entirely a way of granting supplication/compensation to the woman for an untoward happening which could lead to her financial instability, its payment is to be ensured at the earliest. Also a women isn’t to be held accountable for it. Islam grants Mehar upon a woman as a route of her survival and well being when the odds are against her and in her otherwise happy married life. While it is continually advised to look for partners in the bright light of the day, Mehar shouldn’t be exploited in the name of divorce. In fact, in some sects of Islam, the grant of mehar that is done in parts with the larger part delayed, there can be cancellation of the bigger amount if divorce happens subjected to some criteria. The amount of mehar is generally conditioned to the will and the wish of the bride. In the Islamic history, there have been accounts of diverse mehars granted to the brides, for eg. Prophet PBUH granted each of his wives an amount of 12 uqiyah, equivalent to 135 silver riyals. In another narration, Prophet PBUH gave a woman’s hand in marriage to a man who had nothing to offer her, not even an iron ring that Prophet asked him to present, but the basis of the surahs that he had memorized by heart payed the way for his nikah with her. In her own beloved daughter Fatima R.A.’s nikah with Ali R.A. he asked Ali R.A. to present his shield as her mehar. These being the accounts of Mehar at the time of Prophet, amongst his very family, which didn’t hinder any proposal that could have been clouded by the lack of sufficient wealth, so how can today’s muslim make it the only criteria and in this way ignore a blessing that would have come knocking at his door? Also, Prophet PBUH himself quoted about keeping marriage simple and hence ridding the society off of the concept of zina and every other haraam act. As marriages which are supposed to be easy become complicated and lavishing, muslims will resort to haraam ways to fulfill their desires, astagfirullah! hence these people who contributed in that sin will be held equally responsible on the day of judgement. May Allah SWT safeguard us from falling in such vicious traps of the shytan. Mehar is a mark of respect, an act of chivalry of the future husband towards his wife. It shouldn’t be used to make a show of his money nor should it be demanded in that quantity which would drag the poor man into a life of debt which he would have to share with the daughter you’re seeking it for. Count other values that will instead grant the happiness of your daughter. Those are more important than a lavish life which wouldn’t be to your daughter’s contentment. It’s going to be a life that they are going to lead insha’Allah, don’t allow resentment to creep in their lives while wishing on the wrong to bring her joys. The price your future son in law pays as her mahar doesn’t imply her price but just a welcome token in his life. Don’t weigh his capabilities based on his material wealth but his human values, his religious obligations. Value your daughter’s future contentment over the moment’s show of wealth. Let’s make dua that Allah shields us from falling into the wrong and makes us walk on the path of righteousness.
And As salamu Alaikum Warahmatullah.