Compatibility between two partners is still given less priority to other factors like beauty and wealth. However, compatibility reflects the balancing factor between a couple and makes the obligations in Nikah more simpler. When Nikah is performed between two people who have the right balance of compatibility, then there are greater chances of a happier life. In many cases where the partners turned to the unfortunate decision of separation, it was mainly because they were incompatible for one another which made life more difficult.
A man should seek a wife who is compatible with him and a woman should seek a husband who is compatible with her.
Aishah R.A. reported that Allah’s Messenger, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said,
“Make good choice for your seed: marry women who are compatible to you, and marry your daughters to them who are compatible.”
[Recorded by Ibn Majah, al-Hakim, and others]
What is the definition of compatibility in Islam?
In Islam, compatibility comprises of two major dimensions: Deen and Character. These two virtues are such that they cannot be compromised and become the focal point for compatibility. A man or woman who is lacking in either of them is a poor candidate and should not be considered if you want to have a happier Nikah.
Other qualities might also add to the compatibility between the two spouses but they would not be mandatory except these two. Other important factors that enhance compatibility are age, language, financial status, family status, national background, education, etc. With an understanding of all different factors, the decision for choosing the spouse should be carefully taken.
However, one must understand that except for Deen and Character, all of the other qualities are of secondary nature and should not be necessarily overplayed. Especially, they should not be used as grounds for discrimination based on race, social status, wealth, country of origin, etc.
So, it is advisable to seek advice from your friends and elders and try to make a wise choice. Compatibility leads to better relationships and makes happier and healthier homes.