Some violations that are relating to khitbah are ignored by a majority of us. However, we are also unaware of the truth that a number of violations have been introduced by us only due to the worldly traditions. We are so busy in intimating non-Muslim and Western cultures that we forget what are the true teachings of Islam.
Privacy and Intimacy before the Nikah
This is a very common practice which has developed over the time where the engaged couple go out on dinner and movies with one another without actually taking care of what is permitted and what is not. Both of them even engage in Khulwah.
Many of us try to justify such behavior thinking that it is better to know each other before Nikah. We agree that it is absolutely important but it is also important to observe the limits set under Islam. It should not be treated as a test-drive period making it a very normal thing to spend most of the time with the person so as to check the compatibility. Because with that, they do not must stop at khulwah, but commit many other sins even including the major sin of Zina.
When things cross the line, then such engagements are no more blessed by Allah. This results in ending the relationship and also has a negative effect on the character of both the man and woman. Also, the families involve in hatred and their reputation is impacted in the society.
Some families intentionally increase the period of engagement to months and even certain years so that the couple gets more time to understand one another. This directly violates the principle of Nikah in Islam which says that the Nikah should be done as soon as the right person is found.
So, it is important to remember that we do not violate the principles in Islam while we try to find the right partner for us. Let us make sure that we not displease Allah and try to get closer to Him as much as we can.