Marriage is a fantasy of almost every person who has grown up around people who are stable, happy and resolved. Adults who prefer to engage in non aggressive discussions than revoke each other, families who stick together and look out for each other, happy couples who are together in a halaal way and celebrating their every moment and last but not the least, the idea of a gathering to celebrate the big day with people all dressed up glossy and glee and being happy for the bride and the groom. That’s all a child’s fantasy. A real marriage takes a lot more reality behind the scenes to appear peaceful and content when out there in public because they chose to resolve their differences or arguments in a way that prioritises their marriage first. Here are a few of the conduits that make an ideal marriage last just like they say happily forever.
- The choice of a well-suited partner in the light of their religion, conduct and character only. Every other choice made in exclusion of these will keep us oscillating in dilemma. The only accusation we will be making will be, “This is not the person we married” which sounds complying to our senses but that’s only because our senses comprehended the ideal part of the persons only, sidelining the three important virtues that could have saved our marriage otherwise. May Allah protect us from these dismays.
- The art of communication and understanding. Being transparent with each other, earning the trust of each other plays a pivotal role in facing any adversity that the married couples may have to face God forbid. The two partners as a unit sound a too one-sided competition for their enemies and troubles to break them apart. They stand out strong and resilient for any calamity that may come down their way.
- The unconditional love which they share for the sake of Allah. Love for the family and the spouse will ensure their protection against any harm that may come down their way. Love for them will also keep them away from that which is forbidden. The thought of being together in Jannah and of every family member being the ticket of the entire family to be there in the afterlife is an impetus enough to drive them in following the rightful way of living.
- Appreciation and Efforts are other important pillars that keep any relation firm and blooming. Efforts and sacrifice indicate the regard and love one has for another. Genuine efforts never go unrewarded and you see an equal reciprocation from the ones who love you and hence contributes towards your relation. Similarly, random acts of appreciation as gifts, words of appreciation is all one endeavours for.
- Understanding and the art of patience. Understanding that there are two separate people who though spend their lives together yet for their livelihood, they spend another portion of their days apart from another in an environment that can be stressful and subjected to dynamics. To deal with family after one has returned from work and to dwell peacefully is often influenced by the same. This is the time when traits like patience, love and regard for one another is put to trial and the one who stays balanced even during times like these, establishes themselves as role models for the rest of the family.
- Respecting each other: Respect and peaceful coexistence go hand in glove. In a relationship, it is important to stay conscious about it if one intends it to last for a longer time. Respecting, both in the presence of the other and behind their back is often used as a validation of one’s love. Similarly standing up for the respect of another and defending their position is another way to warm hearts between partners.
And last but not the least, being satisfied in your marriage and your blessings from Allah and never ceasing to thank Allah for it, for it’s not just us humans who crave love but Allah as well who primarily created us out of his love for humanity and the love with which he nurtures us every day.
JazakAllah.