Conflict can potentially bring a lack of joy within the relationship. Lack of happiness within the relationship has to do with our inability to resolve conflict. On the other hand, security and harmony in a relationship are due to our capacity to find repair when ruptures occur. When we are in a particular form of a relationship, conflict is expected as we live from an individual perspective; we are not always going to agree with everything.
What is Conflict?
Conflict is a difference or disagreement between two or more individuals’ ideas. If not appropriately addressed, it can be the root of damage people do to each other in a relationship. It is a destroyer of connection.
Why does Conflict Arise?
The ego is the enemy of harmony, Conflict arises in a relationship where both parties love to be seen as proper and sensible. Their ego won’t allow them to look bad or wrong. People believe that their safety is in their power to control others. When a conflict occurs, people tend to immediately make the other person bad to themselves look justified and reasonable.
Lack of understanding and lack of awareness is the primary reason for conflict. It requires bravery to be open, vulnerable, and soft; everything in our screaming rigid, closed and defends ourselves. We must choose Love over our Egos!
How to Resolve Conflict Within a Relationship
1. Awareness is the Key
The first step should be awareness and acceptance when finding solutions to problems and fights. Many people deny their problems to avoid conflict, which increases more friction in a relationship. Accepting disagreement and being aware of its root cause can solve half of the problem.
2. Choose to Understand Instead of Defending
The goal is ‘understating’ not ‘winning.’ If both parties walk into the conflict with the desire to understand each other. Then both of them will feel seen, heard, and understood If anybody thinks that they are correct, then the result will be defensiveness Everyone has a good perspective. Conflict is always caused by poor communication and a lack of understanding.
3. Welcome a Third Party
The goal of the third party is to lead the individuals involved into a greater understanding. The third-party involved must be interested in knowing the perspective of both individuals. And must not walk into this like they already know the perspective.
4. Be Aware of How to Deal with Negative Emotions
Become aware of the other person’s emotions. Care about the other person’s emotion by seeing it as valid and vital. Listen empathetically to the other person’s emotions to understand how they feel. Acknowledge and validate their feelings. It would be best to allow the person to fully experience the emotion they are experiencing and find ways to feel better!
5. Commit to a Resolution
We’ve to be honest about if we want a resolution. If you feel like no matter what you do, it’s not helping, and you can’t solve this, this means the other person involved doesn’t want to resolve it, which needs to be directly addressed before moving further. Both parties need to sit down and agree upon the facts revolving around the situation.